Gottman Method Couples Therapy in Chicago
What is the Gottman Method?
Gottman Method Couples Therapy started with decades of research from psychologist Dr. John Gottman’s relationship “love lab”, where he meticulously studied the interactions of couples to identify patterns and behaviors that contribute to both thriving and failing relationships. By utilizing detailed observations and assessments, Dr. Gottman focused on enhancing the connection between partners, teaching them effective communication skills, and equipping them with tools to navigate conflicts constructively.
His approach to therapy was founded on evidence-based principles that have been rigorously tested, revealing what has proven to work for long-lasting, happy, and successful relationships. The Gottman Method allows couples to gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other, as well as build a strong foundation of trust, respect, and affection that can endure the tests of time.
Sara has completed Gottman Method Couples Therapy Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 certifications and has extensive experience applying The Gottman Method to relationships. She is ready to help your relationship re-build the pillars of a “Sound Relationship House”! With this approach you will learn how to rebuild your friendship, manage conflict, and create a better perspective or outlook on your future together.
Dr. John Gottman’s
Sound Relationship House
Trust
The left pillar of the home, trust is the ability to rely on and feel secure with your partner.
Commitment
The right pillar of the home, commitment involves the decision to be in the relationship for the long term, even when it’s difficult.
Love Maps
Building love maps is the bottom foundation of the home, which involves knowing your partner’s inner world, including their likes, dislikes, hopes, and fears.
Share Fondness and Admiration
This level of the home focuses on building a positive feeling of respect and mutual appreciation for one another.
Turning Towards Instead of Away
This level of the home is about responding positively to your partner’s bids for connection and attention.
The Positive Perspective
This level of the home involves having an atmosphere of kindness, empathy, and shared humor.
Manage Conflict
This level of the home is about learning how to handle disagreements in a healthy way, rather than letting them escalate and cause damage.
Make Life Dreams Come True
This level of the home involves supporting and encouraging each other to achieve personal life goals.
Create Shared Meaning
At the top of the home, this is about building a shared life and culture with common goals, values, and rituals.
What is a “Sound Relationship House”? Read more on the Gottman website here!
“We all want to love and be loved. We all want to grow in our relationships. Experiencing all that our relationships have to offer means stepping outside our comfort zone. If you’re willing to be honest about who you really are, and open-minded about who your partner is, your relationship will grow stronger. Your understanding of each other will be deeper. Your life together will be happier.”
—John Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman
The “Four Horsemen” of the Gottman Method
According to Dr. John Gottman, these four behaviors destroy relationships over time. Also known as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”
Criticism: verbally attacking your partner’s personality or character.
Contempt: disgust for your partner, and/or feeling morally superior to them. Includes a blatant disregard for their feelings and can also include using sarcasm for cruelty.
Defensiveness: victimizing yourself in a way that says, “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.”
Stonewalling: withdrawing and refusing to communicate. Sometimes referred to as “the silent treatment”.
Through couples therapy, you and your partner can learn the antidotes to these four behaviors and work on saving your relationship from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Schedule your free 15-minute consultation with Sara today!
What Are the 7 Ways to Make Relationships Work?
According to Dr. John Gottman
- Enhance and share your love maps.
- Nurture your fondness and admiration.
- Turn toward each other instead of away.
- Let your partner influence you.
- Solve your solvable problems.
- Overcome gridlock.
- Create shared meaning.
What do these all mean? Sara can help through relationship or couples therapy! Reach out today to get started.
Read more about John and Julie Gottman and The Gottman Method by visiting The Gottman Institute’s website below:
The Gottman Institute | A research-based approach to relationships
Suggested readings:
Gottman, J. and Gottman, J. (2007). And baby makes three. NY: House.
Gottman, J. M., & DeClaire, J. (1997). Raising an emotionally intelligent child. New York, N.Y., Simon & Schuster Paperbacks.
Gottman, J. (2000). The seven principles for making marriage work. Orion.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last?: how to build trust and avoid betrayal. New York, Simon & Schuster.
How Many Sessions Is Gottman therapy?
The duration of relationship or couples therapy in general depends on a multitude of factors including what your presenting concerns are, your goals for your relationship, and how often you attend. The Gottman Method Couples Therapy length of treatment varies from relationship to relationship and depends on how many layers deep the presenting concerns are! Some relationships may only need 10-12 sessions and some may need years of treatment.
Looking for a Chicago relationship counselor that does couples counseling Gottman style or couples therapy Gottman style? reach out to Sara today!
Confluent Relationship Therapy, PLLC
Relationship & Couples Therapy in Chicago
213 W Institute Place, Suite 500, Chicago, IL 60610 | 312-620-9075 | info@confluentrelationshiptherapy.com
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