Relationship Distress

According to Dr. Sue Johnson, couples often experience distress in a relationship due to the individual feelings of physical or emotional abandonment. This distress can stem from a variety of underlying issues, including miscommunication, unmet expectations, and a lack of emotional support. This approach utilizes attachment concepts, which help clients to better understand their unmet needs in the relationship, allowing them to identify patterns of interaction that may be contributing to their struggles.

During events of relationship distress, attachment security is often threatened, and anger usually ensues as a first response. If this display of anger does not evoke a healthy response from the other partner, the angry partner can become entangled with despair and use coercion in order to maintain the attention from their partner they are longing to connect with. If this display of “clinging and seeking” does not produce desired results, sadness and despair can follow. The pattern can be a repetitive cycle in relationship conflict and relationship distress, that many partners do not understand is based in the feelings of perceived or actual abandonment.

Emotionally focused couples therapy helps couples to better understand their emotions and attachment needs while learning how to express them. This style of therapy also uses the concept of managing conflict or managing “relationship distress” by learning healthy communication skills. By openly discussing feelings, couples can work towards fostering empathy and compassion for one another’s experiences. Building connection and trust are essential frameworks for a healthy attachment, which is present in successful long-term unions, as these elements encourage partners to engage in more meaningful and supportive interactions. Through this process, couples can learn to navigate their struggles together, reinforcing their bond and paving the way for a more fulfilling partnership.

Emotion Focused Therapy vs Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotion Focused Therapy is often used synonymously with Emotionally Focused Therapy, but they technically are two different terms. Although the foundations of the terms have intersecting roots, Dr. Leslie Greenberg decided to focus on an experiential approach for individual clients which became Emotion-Focused Therapy. This term is explicitly based on the idea that emotions are central to client functioning and therapeutic change. Dr. Greenberg once said, “You have to feel it to heal it!” in regard to working through feelings in therapy.

In contrast, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), has a central concept of viewing disagreements in relationships as a product of attachment issues. Although Emotionally Focused Therapy can also be used in individual therapy (EFIT) or family therapy (EFFT) too! See more information about Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) above!